Monday, July 11, 2011
I am grateful that there is a way of allowing you all to know that though I am absent, I am not without Andy's presence today as I celebrate my son's 18th birthday. Truth is, I appreciate everyone I love, even more so as I am humbly reminded that we really are unaware of the day and hour so let us love now and not late as later may not come to pass. My sincere condolences and prayers that Andy will be an angel among us looking on with a smile and finally having the peace we all search for in life. I pray that we find comfort in the memories we have individually and together as this will keep him living within our hearts through them. I had a difficult time when I heard about Andy feeling as if I had unfinished business not having made the opportunity to see him though I spoke to him and spoke of such visit. It left me with a gulp in my throat and anger for some time. It takes me back again quickly to appreciating our loved ones as we often get caught up in so many things that make it easy to say, tomorrow's another day when really perhaps it isn't. I came home and got lost in being mommy, occupied my time with my daily routine but then again, through the many things on my mind, Andy remained a constant. This is not how I wanted to say goodbye to my friend. I am not alone in this sentiment, I'm sure....Still I tried to deal in my way so I listened to some music and with each song that played felt a connection with Andy. 1st, came a dance song and in tribute to Andy, I danced with a release and joy feeling as if what he didn't get to see in life as we had not shared a dance, he now got to see and it was one of the greatest dances I've had ever. I really felt as if Andy was with me and that brought me a comfort I needed. I told my husband what I was doing and how it really felt as if my friend somehow was near to my heart in that moment because surely I gave my best and as he agreed the next song played on and sang about one who has departed but is still here confirming Andy's presence at least for me. Loved ones have a way of letting us know though it's okay to mourn, continue living in good memories of who they were in our lives. I will miss my friend Andy, someone who was passionate about telling you how he felt, in short, wouldn't take lip from anyone. To some he may have been considered cranky of course just truly being misunderstood as Andy was a strong one and I am proud to say he liked me as that for sure makes me special. I pray his family and friends take special comfort in knowing Andy was and will remains loved. I will continue to live in appreciation of my loved ones as Andy's life has shown us once again, please live for your todays always. May we all find healing in never forgetting his smile! I will continue to dance knowing my friend Andy, he's watching, dancing, as he's gone but not forgotten, far but closer than he's ever been, he reamains living in all our hearts. I love you Andy. Let us pray and continue to love our loves.
