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Margaret and Ted Newall posted a condolence
Sunday, June 26, 2011
While we never met Elizabeth ourselves, we know her parents and we know how important their family is to them. Please accept our heartfelt sympathy for this terrible loss.
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Carol Schaefer posted a condolence
Friday, June 10, 2011
Elizabeth Ellen "Betsy" Schaefer Fitzmaurice
May 31, 1966 -- May 28, 2011
Jim, Betsy's beloved husband, Carol and Chuck, Betsy's parents, Carolyn and Chuck, Betsy's siblings and her dear children Katherine and Zachary have asked me to speak about Betsy on behalf of the family who loved her dearly.
As I was gathering my thoughts about Betsy, I pondered the way we express our care and concern to others who have suffered a terrible loss. We express our sympathy, or send condolences. And while we do that for those who bear the greatest loss, it occurred to me that today every person who has gathered today to honor Betsy's life is broken hearted. We are broken hearted for the brevity of her life. We are broken hearted for her loved ones who must go on without her. We are broken hearted for our own loss of a dear woman. And we are broken hearted about the way life can unexpectedly take a devastating turn. Suddenly everything is different. As Carol, Betsy's mom, said to me when she conveyed the terrible news, "Heart wrenching takes on new meaning."
As we gently hold our own brokenness and allow our sadness and deep grief to occupy its rightful place, we also want to celebrate the wonderful and unique woman Betsy was and honor the profound meaning of her life.
When we bring Betsy to mind, we see her tall, sturdy frame, her long blond hair, so often clipped up because she was on the run. The twinkle of her eyes meets ours, and when a smile lights up, it is winsome and slightly mischievous. It spreads across her face, and because it is so charismatic, we can't help but to smile with her. We hear her strong, steady voice and the burst of her robust, contagious laugh. And when we bring Betsy to mind, she is never alone. We always see her surrounded by others, her husband, her children, her parents and siblings, her aunts and uncles, her nieces and nephews, her many, many friends and untold numbers of children.
Many times those closest to her would lament that Betsy was always going, always doing, always rushing, and now we know, Betsy was jamming a long, active life into a spare number of years. Whether she was driving her children to dance, soccer, school, or other activities, or whether she was setting a table in her home for friends and family, whether she was belatedly returning a phone call, or fussing in preparation for a holiday, Betsy was always making room for those she loved and giving so generously of herself. Betsy extended herself in so many ways, her time, her energy, her thought and focus…..endlessly. And even in departing, she died the way she lived. She decided that when the time of her death came, it was her wish that parts of herself that could help others live, be donated. Both in her life and in her death, Betsy embodied generosity in its most complete expression.
Those of you who knew Betsy as a child will remember her outgoing, sunny disposition. As one of her teacher said, Betsy was a "golden child" who had an "inner glow of innocence." From her earliest years, wherever she went, she made friends. Her mother recalled traveling with Betsy, and staying in hotels where housekeepers came by to say hello to Betsy because they were so captivated by her charm. Carolyn remembers conversations they had at Starbucks where sisters talked as best friends and Betsy always had a new and fresh insight. Chuckie shared his fond, repeated memory, where Betsy would be coming out of a ladies room laughing, having just made friends with a stranger in only a few short minutes. It was her big sense of humor that drew others to her, infectious, outrageous, ironic, and sometimes even irreverent, like when she made everyone laugh because the Santa her mother had engaged for a Christmas party had bad breath and reeked like a distillery.
Those who were blessed with her friendship, which included not only friends, but family, received the gifts of her loyalty and devotion. Whether it was carpooling to school, opening her home in hospitality, pitching in for someone who had a problem, or lending an ear, Betsy was always there selflessly extending herself. Her kindness knew no bounds, and neither did her frankness. In fact, it's hard for those who loved her most to decide whether to list her spontaneous, uncensored responsiveness as a gift or liability because when you asked Betsy what she thought, her honesty and authenticity called her to speak her truth, which she did courageously. Even if she told you something you did not especially want to hear, what she said was spoken from the heart. She was empathic and compassionate, but she never bent herself to placate or patronize others. She loved those around so ferociously that she could only honor them by speaking her mind and her truth.
Betsy's frankness and honesty grew out of a core quality of her personality. She had a persistent, fighting spirit. With that spirit she met difficult situations not as obstacles that would divert her, but as challenges that inspired her. School was not easy for Betsy, but the difficulties that arose did not hamper her will to succeed. As a student at Adelphi University, although she was devoted to art, until she mastered the rigors of a major in Business, she was not satisfied. Once she had the serious, hard work of the business major under her belt, she went on to do a double major, achieve the dean's list, and later completed a Master of Arts Degree in Graphic Design. Never to be hindered by the hard thing…..that was Betsy's way.
Betsy demonstrated tenacity, an ability to hold tightly to her beliefs and values in a way that yielded an unshakable stance. She brought this to all aspects of her life, but especially to her role as a mother, who like a bear with small cubs, went to every extent making sure her dear children, Katherine, 9, and Zachary, 12, had everything they needed. She equipped them with a comfortable life in a warm home, and tirelessly made the efforts needed to support their education, activities, and development. But perhaps most importantly, she instilled values that they will carry with them through life even though she will not be physically present. Jim, Betsy's beloved husband will carry out what he and Betsy began together with their children. Although devastated by the loss of his soul mate, and having his life forever altered, Jim will devote himself to seeing that the values Betsy cherished, her love of sports, art, dance, music, and learning will find their expression as the lives of her children unfold.
Jim and Betsy had a beautiful marriage of fifteen years, one that had not tarnished in its love or enthusiasm for one another. They were always on the same team. Together they opened themselves to friends and family. They were one another's rock. Whether Betsy was doing the family books, drawing on her background in business, or whether Jim was dashing out to help a friend in need, they made a life that was based on love, compassion, loyalty, and care. Jim supported Betsy and brought out the best out of her. Never a woman of pretense, never a person who sought exalted status, Betsy was a quiet, modest heroine, full of heart. Because she never yearned for public recognition, she touched many lives, quietly, behind the scenes, when no one was looking, in ways that others never knew about. Care, love, and giving were her calling cards, and she doled them out indiscriminately in the most positive sense of the word. She will be so greatly missed.
In closing, we say to you, Betsy, you will always be with us. Just as you raced so fast in this life, you raced into your spirit life. Now, released from the limitations of physical being, we imagine you racing about the ethers where you will continue doing what you have always done. When you were among us you rushed in where only angels dared to tread. Now as an angel, you will guard over us and always be present. Your legacy and spirit will always be with us. Your model inspires us. In your name, this is our promise. When we try, we will try harder. When we give, we will give more generously. When we speak, we will speak more truthfully, and when we love we will love more ferociously.
We bid you god speed and we want you to know that you will remain in our hearts forever.
Delivered Friday, June 3, 2011
Wyckoff Reformed Church
Katherine Olivetti
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Carol Schaefer posted a condolence
Friday, June 10, 2011
"TO THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE WHO LOVED ME" Read by Chuck
When I am gone, release me , let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we had so many beautiful years
I gave to you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness
I thank you for the love you've each shown me
But now it's time I travel on, alone
So grieve a while for me if you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It's only for a while that we must part
So bless the memories within your hearts
I won't be far away, for life goes on
So, if you need me, call and I will come
Though you can't see or touch me
I'll be near and if you listen with your hearts
You'll hear all my love around you
Soft and clear and then, when you must
Come this way alone, I'll greet you with a
Smile and say, "Welcome Home."
C
Carol Schaefer posted a condolence
Friday, June 10, 2011
Dear Betsy,
Growing up you were always making new friends everywhere we went. You have a beautiful gift that you could just walk up to someone new and start talking. I always loved how you could do that. I remember in high school how much fun you had cheering at the football games. I also remember that not everything was easy for you and how hard you had to work in school but you always gave it 100% no matter what.
The best time in our lives has been the past 12 years where we bonded over our kids As we became mothers our friendship grew. I know we shared the same bond of motherhood. We loved our children. Together we cheered and cried for them. You were always there loving unconditionally. Together we have watched them grow into these amazing people right before our eyes. We sat on the floor and played with them for hours. Then we were running or swimming after them and most recently watching them make the most amazing plays and performances just for our pleasure. I can still hear your laugh in my ears. I will always hear your laugh in my ears. When I look in to Zachary and Katherine's face I see the best of you - I see your love.
Throughout my life, you were always there loving unconditionally.
Your wisdom is now with me
you are in my heart always and you are a part of me.
I love you so much and miss you
Carolyn
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Amy Meillarec posted a condolence
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Dear Jimmy, Zach, Katherine, Mr. & Mrs. Schaefer, Carolyn, and Chuckie...I am so sorry for your loss. I have been sitting here for days trying to figure out what to write and you think after 30 years of friendship it would be easy but it isn't. I found an untitled poem online (author unknown) that I feel is appropriate ( I just added the title). Heaven Has a Beautiful New Angel... You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Love, Amy
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Suzanne Dougherty Gallup posted a condolence
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Jimmy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
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James P. Butler posted a condolence
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Please accept my heart felt and sincere condolences. I am very sorry to have learned of Betsy's passing. I will always remember the times that our families spent Christmas's together and playing together as children. I wish all of her family the very best that life has to offer and for all to enjoy a long healthy happy life. Do not hesitate to contact me if I can help in any way. May God's Blessings be upon you always. Sincerely, James P.Butler
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Lisa Woolsgrove posted a condolence
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Jim, I am so very sorry to hear about Betsy. My thoughts are with you and your family as you deal with your loss.
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charles whiteman posted a condolence
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Dear Jim and family: Trish and I are deeply saddened by this tragedy. Betsy's sweet and gentle nature will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. God Bless.
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Rosemary Hudson posted a condolence
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Jim, I am so sorry to hear about Betsy. She was a beautiful person and always had a smile on her face. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Lara Sloan posted a condolence
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Stephan and I are so saddened by this tragedy. Know that we are praying daily for your strength during this difficult time. We love you. Love, Lara and Stephan
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Cristie Stanton Woodard posted a condolence
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
So very sorry to hear of this terrible loss- our thoughts are with your family and our hearts go out to your children. The Woodard Family
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Jim Zimmermann posted a condolence
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Jim, I just heard and I wanted you to know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Whenever you and Betsy's name or photo would come up, it always brought a smile to my face, you guys did it right. Anything you need, please call me.
s
sam antoci posted a condolence
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Dear Jimmy and Family, I am so sorry for your loss, For me, Betsy could walk into any room at any time, in any mood, and light it up with her infectious laugh and twinkling eyes. It has always been nothing less then an honor and privilege to know her. Anyone who has had this honor, has seen her share her gift of compassion and love with everyone. She will shine on in my heart forever. With warmest prayers and thoughts always, Sam and Family
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maureen Winters posted a condolence
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Dear Jim and family, I am soo saddened for your great loss of Betsy. She was a wonderful person and her loss will be profoundly felt by anyone who knew her and your family. Zachary and Katherine are beautiful children that attended The Village School many years and we loved having you family with us during that time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Betsy always. Love, Maureen
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maureen Egan posted a condolence
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
It's with deepest sympathy to be writing a note of "Good Bye" to you Betsy! Smiles were always on your face! My heart goes out to Jim and the kids as you will be so missed in their lives. May God welcome you with all the warmth you gave to others! Condolences - Maureen
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Lesko posted a condolence
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Jim, we are very sorry about Betsy..she was the light of your life and a wonderful mother and friend. Our prayers are with you and your family.
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Jennifer Calendrillo posted a condolence
Monday, May 30, 2011
Dear Zach, I am so sorry to hear of your mom's sudden passing. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. Please know that we on the team will be thinking of you and wishing you all strength and peace during this terribly sad and difficult time. With love and sympathy, Mrs. Calendrillo
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Anja Lee posted a condolence
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Anja Lee made a donation to Hackensack University Medical Center Foundation
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